TJ Perenara has given Today FM an insight into the harsh online hate and trolling he and his family face every day.
The star All Black and Hurricane spoke to Today FM Investigates host Wilhelmina Shrimpton for her latest documentary UNSOCIAL MEDIA: Following the Trolls.
Talking in his Porirua home, Perenara said the worst he's heard is people wishing physical pain on him.
"I can't remember like word for word. But there's been a number of people who wished injury on me."
As a talented player with a growing profile, he's used to the roar of a crowd, and the scrutiny that comes with it. He believes it's fair for fans and commentators to dissect his gameplay, but said it's crossing the line when things turn personal.
He said so-called fans or followers pollute newsfeeds, litter comment threads and crash into his and his family's DMs on social media.
"The stuff that probably gets to me, is the stuff that gets through my family. If my family sees messages, or they start to interact with trolls or whatever on a social media platform, and then I see their interaction with it, that's probably what hurts me more."
Perenara said his family often come into bat for him, and that's when things can turn ugly.
His wife Greer often bears the brunt and even gets abused on her social media pages too.
"The first time I was sort of exposed to trolls, I guess, was when we put out our wedding video. A few people decided to go on, like, behind private profiles and fake profiles, and comment on my weight and how I looked on my wedding day. Some people messaged me to say you look disgusting" Greer said.
They're comments that often leave her angry and frustrated.
"I know that I personally would never go online and say something negatively and attack someone personally that I don't know. Even people I know, like, I would never do that in an online space."
TJ said he tries not to focus on the trolls, but still has moments when it hits hard.
"I think my toughest moments were when I was coming back from Japan. People were saying I shouldn't come back, or that I should stay in Japan. But at that time, like they don't realise it, I was away from my family for a long time. My daughter was eight months old."
He told Today FM Investigates host Wilhelmina Shrimpton there was a moment when he wondered whether it was all worth it.
"I can't remember exactly when it was maybe after a test match or something like that. I must've been getting pumped in the media - not just from fans, but from the media itself as well. I could see my family and that writing back to all of these messages. My sisters, my wife, my grandmother, my cousin, and I could just see this thing, and people going to bat for me."
"It probably never got to the point where I'm like, oh, man, this is too much. But it got overwhelming."
TJ and his wife Greer have made a conscious effort to keep their 2-year-old daughter away from social media to protect her. They both also worry about the effect online hate has on up-and-coming rugby talent too.
"These young kids coming through, have grown up with social media. They've been in social forums since they were young, probably speaking on rugby games and stuff like that, and talking about their favourite players when they were growing up.
"So it's only natural for them to go and read the same forums that they used to participate in. If they don't have the tools around them to like navigate that space. It'd be easy for them to get consumed in it." TJ said.
Greer agrees and said fans need to remember the players are also people.
"It's always just like, hey, this is a human being. You need to remember that these rugby players out there, go out, and play for our entertainment, but they're humans. They're someone's father, someone's son, someone's brother."
The Perenara's believe it's important to keep the conversation going because they say the trolls will also keep trolling.
"I think it's awesome to bring awareness and to talk about it, because not talking about it, is accepting it, and I don't think we should accept it," TJ said.
You can watch the full documentary UNSOCIAL MEDIA: Following the Trolls here.
