OPINION: Since the start of my career, I've always been told not to read the comments. It's pretty sound advice for someone who latches onto and takes every piece of negativity on board.
I've mostly been quite good at heeding that advice, apart from a few moments of weakness when I clicked on the dreaded comment button. It was on that journey down the digital rabbit hole, that I saw some of the nasties creatively or not so creatively addressed to me. For someone who worked in television for 8 years, it wasn't surprising to see many of them target my physique.
"Her eyes are so dark and distracting. If she's wearing black contacts, tell her to take them out."
"Those are the ugliest knees I've ever seen" or "You're too skinny, it's disgusting and so off-putting."
Now that I work in radio it's less about looks, and more about the mind… but it's no less offensive.
I've been called "woke", "dumb" and I'm assuming because I'm young and female, "a stupid little girl".
Most of my hosting colleagues get it too and even worse than me. There's been death threats, the f-bomb, the c-bomb and even racially charged comments.
It's horrifying, confronting and downright disgusting. But it's not just people in the public eye, everyday Kiwis are also being targeted too. In fact, this type of trolling and cyberbullying has been so bad it's arguably been the tipping point for some who have taken their own lives.
Now I know that suicide is an incredibly complex issue, and a single factor can't be blamed. But the two people I interviewed for UNSOCIAL MEDIA: Following the Trolls who had lost loved ones to suicide, firmly believed they'd still be here today were it not for the relentless online hate directed at them. It was in their eyes, the straw that broke the camel's back, and it broke the hearts of the people left behind.
People have rightly called for social media companies to take more responsibility, and do more to prevent online hate. But the bottom line is, this isn't an internet problem, this is a people problem and it existed long before social media did.
Strip away the modem, the keyboard and the profile page, and this is bullying in its simplest form.
If the internet didn't exist we'd still have trolls, they'd just be using a different medium. We could also have all the tools, the filters, the blockers and the algorithms to divert and deflect the abuse, but it doesn't address the heart of the problem. It's time we turned our attention to changing and shifting a culture that normalises bullying in all of its forms.
So how do we do that?
First of all, we need to educate our kids more and teach them the consequences of their words and actions. The saying "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" doesn't fly anymore. Words are just as painful, if not more than a punch to the gut. By doing this, hopefully, we can stop child bullies from becoming adult trolls.
Secondly, we need more to deter people. We have laws like the Harmful Digital Communications Act which enables action to be taken against perpetrators of online abuse. It was passed in 2015, but it was rushed through, and despite a promise to review the law to keep it up to date, it has remained relatively unchanged. It's a nightmare to navigate, and many leave the experience feeling re-victimised. It's in desperate need of an overhaul and needs to start now.
Thirdly, we need to speak out against bullying. This isn't about feeding the trolls but making sure we hold them to account. So if you see it, or hear it… speak up. Bring it out of the dark, and into the light. If we make it unacceptable and awkward for those behaving like this, they'll hopefully be less likely to do it,
Some will argue that a crackdown is an attack of free speech, but I beg to differ. Free speech is saying you disagree with someone's views or policies, trolling is saying you disagree with them and they look like a horse-faced a***ole. One forms the foundation for healthy debate, the other is just degrading.
So let's use this documentary as a catalyst for discussion and change. Let's not let the brave people who shared their stories with me go to waste, and let's not let the trolls win.
If this article has raised any issues for you - don't hesitate to contact 1737 at any time.
You can watch the full documentary UNSOCIAL MEDIA: Following the Trolls here.
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